This post originally appeared here: http://www.gazettextra.com/weblogs/peace-and-glove/2012/oct/25/elimina-shone/
Greetings y’all, “The Bullpen” here. Something strange has happened to Tim and I just wanted to let all his readers know what he’s dealing with.
If you know Mr. Thompson at all, you know that most of his long-term memory consists of quotes and one-liners from classic movies and television shows. Not classics in a Jimmy Stewart/Clark Gable sense; more along the lines of “Caddyshack,” “Airplane” and “Saturday Night Live.” You also can include on that list pretty much anything done by Jim Carrey (during his funny years), Will Ferrell and, of course, the comedic legend that is Chris Farley.
As Tim and I are just a month apart in age, we enjoy many of the same pop-culture favorites and have shared many a laugh over the years. I’m sure being a walking movie-quote machine is both a blessing and a curse, but I can’t imagine what his co-workers have to deal 45-50 hours per week over the course of several years. My heart goes out to them!
Anyway, I hadn’t heard much from Tim since the Brewers were eliminated from postseason contention, so I stopped by his house the other day to check on him. When I entered his living room, I found him sitting in his recliner, barefoot and wearing a flannel shirt, straw hat, and suspenders . This didn’t worry me, as this ensemble wasn’t too different than what he normally wears. The worries began when he opened his mouth.
Tim kept looking at me, rocking in his chair while grinning wildly and repeating “elimina-shone.” This threw me for a loop, so I started asking questions. It looked a little bit like this. Here is a transcript of our conversation:
(TB = The Bullpen; TT = Tim Thompson)
TB: What’s up man? I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks. What have you been up to since the Brewers’ season ended?
TT: Depress-shone. No participa-shone for Brewer Na-shone.
TB: No doubt. It was good to see them finish strong, though. What do you think they need to do to improve in 2013?
TT: Have good founda-shone. Now sign Josh Hamil-tone.
TB: Wow, that would be something! But anyway, you have to have some opinion about the way the National League playoffs have played out, right?
TB: It was pretty satisfying to watch the San Francisco Giants first come back from a 2-0 series deficit to defeat the Cincinnati Reds 3-2 to win the NL divisional series, and then dig out from a 3-1 hole in the NLCS to defeat the St. Louis Cardinals to advance to take on the Detroit Tigers in the World Series.
TT: San Fran six times faced elimina-shone. Sent two teams on early vaca-shone.
TB: What do you think Cardinals fans are feeling right now?
TT: Exaspera-shone. Reject-shone. No love from Brewer Na-shone!
TB: I don’t know what happened. It was like a completely different Cardinals team showed up for Games 5,6 and 7. How do you think manager Mike Matheny felt while watching his squad get outscored 20-1 over the final three games?
TT: Frustra-shone. Humilia-shone.
TB: Any thoughts on Matt Holliday’s controversial slide during Game 2 that caused Giants second-baseman (and former Brewers farmhand and eventual 2012 NLCS MVP) Marco Scutaro to leave the game with a minor injury?
TT: Gross miscalcula-shone.
TB: Really? A lot of people questioned whether that slide was necessary and/or legal.
TT: Lots of self-reflect-shone. All about percept-shone.
TB: Very true, my friend. You are forever the diplomat. Do you think the Cardinals’ loss will have a “hangover effect” next season?
TT: No way. Too much tradi-shone. Franchise preach dedica-shone.
TB: Agreed. I gotta get going — any big plans coming up?
TT: Hiberna-shone from televi-shone until after the elect-shone.
TB: That sounds like a good plan. Hey man, one more thing — what would you think about turning this conversation into a “Peace & Glove” post?
TT: Ideal collabora-shone.
TB: What if we were to ask those readers who picked the Cardinals to win it all on your recent web poll to explain what they think went wrong with their team?
TT: Crowd participa-shone. React to elimina-shone. Explain Giants’ domina-shone.